Saturday, July 05, 2008

It's Pronounced "Ethics"

This was written during a Public Relations class I took in DC. Looking back, I realize I used a lot of quotes from the Special Features of 40 Year Old Virgin. Either way, italicized sections refer to something the professor was rambling about during her lecture.

Right now I could transcribe her shit definitions verbatim but I’ve opted not to. Again, she’s yapping and the odds are this crap can be found in my book. NASD? What the fuck is that? Bullshit. That’s what. Keeps on yapping. Stimulate an institution’s social conscience. Yippee! Then she talks too fast for me to write. This class is so fucking terrible, it’s scary. Press agentry. Yap Yap Yap. Effics. Efficks. You must be kidding. Publicity. Or I could pig blap you. Give you a mushroom tattoo. Shoot it in your eye. But that’s about to change. Yeah, you could fuck a glove full of jelly – that’s just creepy, though. Even as I sit here and write all this random shit, time is still moving slow as fuck. Don’t know if this is helping. Might look obvious this isn’t in note-form. Roosevelt. PR Master of Fire. Like Pyro from X-Men. And that was a smart movie. I’m a virgin. I wanna fuck you – BANG. Just like that. Muckrakers. Moonraker. James Bond. Bail bonds. Ben Bailey. Bailey Lyon. Lionheart. Jean-Claude Van Dam. Hoover Dam. J. Edgar Hoover. Hoover vacuums. And that is "Ten Degrees To Hoover Vacuums."


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