Friday, March 20, 2009

A Bad Idea - Day 23

To borrow from Fire Joe Morgan, I'm going to display the battle between what I may be saying these days and what I'm actually thinking...

Q: You know, not masturbating for 40 days isn't such a bad idea.
Q's Brain: Are you fucking mental?! This sucks balls. And not mine.

Q: This will leave me more time to read and catch up on my correspondence.
Q's Brain: Face it, asshole, you can barely read. And Pickler's lawyers already filed a cease and desist.

Q: Seriously, there's no reason to even masturbate.
Q's Brain: I've got one: Hannah Hilton.

Q: This will give me time to buckle down and focus on my career.
Q's Brain: Hmmmm... so it's international fugitives, nightshift, and unbridled boredom... or... Hannah Hilton, all-natural, blonde, tits...

Q: Lord knows I earned that promotion.
Q's Brain: I should have done a before & after weighing of my balls.

Q: Perhaps I can wash my car.
Q's Brain: I should install tinted windows because if Day 40 passes and I'm in transit, I will not hesitate.

Q: To be perfectly honest, masturbation is totally overrated.
Q's Brain: Yeah, that's why the porn industry is totally plummeting right now.

Q: What reason could I possible have to lock myself in a room and shamefully pleasure myself?
Q's Brain: Well, I already mentioned Hannah Hilton. How about... Jenaveve Jolie, Lela Star, Lanny Barbie, Audrey Bitoni, Devon, Devon Michaels, Savannah Stern, Rachel Roxxx, Rachel Starr, Roxy Jezel, Roxy Deville, Jaclyn Case, Lacey Duvalle, Krystal Steal, Courtney Cummz, Brittney Skye, Lucy Lee (Asian), Lucy Lee (Czech), Austin Kincaid, Tera Patrick, Tera Wray, Tory Lane, Vanessa Lane, Cody Lane, Priya Rae, Gina Lynn, Gianna Lynn, Adrenalyn, Asia Carrera, Anna Malle (may she rest in peace), Tawny Roberts, Jenna Haze, Jenna Jameson, Tanya James, Jayden James, Jesse Jane, Daisy Marie, Phoenix Marie, Lichelle Marie, Michelle Maylene, Shyla Stylez, Eva Angelina...

Q: I just have to keep myself occupied. I can't let my mind wander.
Q's Brain: ..Sativa Rose, Bree Olson, Nikki Benz, Nikki Rhodes, Katie Morgan, Mason Moore, Mariah Milano, Mindy Main, Stephanie Cane, Sylvia Saint, Ashley Blue, Abbey Brooks, Brooke Banner, Brooke Haven, Brianna Banks, Lisa Ann, Amy Ried, Shawna Lenee, Halia Hill, Rhylee Richards, Renae Cruz, Tessa West, Charley Chase...



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