A Bad Idea - Day 1

"One: you can't do it. You just can't. This isn't a personal attack towards you, I'm just saying that no man can do it, it goes against nature. The male was biologically designed to spread his seed. You're gonna piss off the seeds! It goes against science! You wanna be the guy who goes against science? And two: are you out of your fucking mind? You're the guy who can't finish a sandwich, you think you can go 40 days?" -some Josh Hartnett movie

This is going to hurt...

What?
Well, I've done it this time. In my infinite wisdom, I've decided to try not having sex with myself for the next forty days. Yes, today is the first day of Lent right now, but that's not why I'm doing it. It just seemed like a good day to start is all. So, in paying homage to Seinfeld and that Josh Hartnett movie, I am going to deprive myself of self-gratification for as long as I can withstand. If all goes according to plan, I will only use my junk for urinating for forty days. This, I assure you, will not be an easy task, especially for me. Hell, if the Metro is delayed too long, I may consider a nice wank to pass the time.

When?
For forty days and forty nights - did you not read the above part?

Where?
Hopefully not at your nephew's birthday party, but I make no promises.

Why?
I'm not entirely sure, actually. It's not because I'm religious. It's not because I don't enjoy treating my body like an amusement park. Really, I think it may be an interesting experiment that deserves proper observation and subsequent recording. It is more than likely that I will become increasingly irritable around people and increasingly aroused around anything.

How?
I have no fucking idea. Accomplishing this feat will require self-control, discipline, and a host of other traits I do not possess.

The misery begins today: February 26th, 2009. Pray for me. But more importantly, pray for my cock.



NOTE: Fuck this, I've got eight minutes to do some damage...