Diversify Your Bonds

See...

...despite all my rants and raves riddled with racism (holy shit, alliteration rules!), I have plenty of brown friends. I look like a goddamn sunspot whenever I take pictures with them, though...

Hey, wait a minute, what's this...

This is my attractive face.

I think it's quite clear that I'm admired and adored by all races. 

It's just not mutual.