Talkin' Shit

You know when you're sitting there, butthole puckered and stomach churning? Sure you do. Don't be embarrassed - it's perfectly natural. Everybody shits. Except really hot chicks. I don't know how they get rid of it, but really smoking women definitely don't do what I do at least once a day. But still, as natural as this bodily function may be, sometimes it really lets you down.

Earlier today, I had to poop. Straight up. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it for you. But it was the kind where your stomach is almost saying, "Dude, get rid of this or I'll make you regret it." So I get down to it, finish my business, survey the scene and I'm left empty - literally, but emotionally too. All that trouble my stomach was yammering about and I leave this dinky little donker, thinking to myself, "That's what all this nonsense was about?" It's a shame really. An ordeal like that leaves you irritated, only slightly relieved, and with no true feeling of accomplishment.

Wait a minute, am I really writing about taking a dump? Holy shit, I need to try a harder on these. Just pretend you didn't read all this.