Saturday, April 18, 2009

Links On The Left, Part 5

Yep, not changing the title. "Links On The Left" is a fucking fixture around here, people. You can't just up and change something simply because it's not accurate. Where would the world be if you couldn't stand behind known falsehoods with blind devotion? I'll tell ya where. We'd be Gymkata. I'm kidding; Gymkata fucking rules.

Onto business... What Would Tyler Durden Do? is one of the best sites on the internet. Normally, I could care less about celebrities unless I hear about them dying, which Madonna just refuses to do, but WWTDD makes it much more interesting. Brendon, the guy who writes everything on there, is another reason I decided to get back into this whole blog bullshit. Dude is goddamn hilarious. Whether he's making fun of himself, wishing for Amy Whinehouse's next overdose to finally do the trick, or commenting on how damn chunky Jennifer Love Chewitt has gotten, it's all gold.

Some memorable quotes:

"Brad must be a passionate man because the temptation to pull out on Angelina Jolie would seemingly never get old. We could have sex every day for a hundred years and she might be scared that she was barren, but she would appreciate all the pineapple juice I’ve been drinking."

"Hell, I would blow a homeless guy on stage at my high school reunion to get on top of Heidi [Klum] as many times as Seal has."

"Having an NFL cheerleader and contestant from 'the Bachelor' on a show called 'Dancing With The Stars' really pushes any rational definition of the term 'stars', but as of today Melissa Rycroft is definitely a star in my book. My book is entitled, Girls I'd Like To Fuck."

" turns out – and I did not realize this before – the one thing more uncomfortable to masturbating while looking at a dude is masturbating while looking at a dude who is you. It's like I jerked off on my twin."

And that's only going back two weeks into his archives. So stop reading US Weekly, Twitter, InTouch, Perez Hilton, or any of that other bullshit that totally sucks and just go to Tyler. He's better, cheaper, quicker, and not a fat homo with pink hair.



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