May Rabid Dobermans Feast On Kevin Leam's Genitals

Terrible news, people. Yes, Conan O'Brien had to drop the masturbating bear, but that's not it. Michael Kelly, one of my favorite writers and a big reason why I write the nonsense you read here, has had his website pulled by the content provider - some limey cunts called Orange-Freeserve. Why? Because of some hackshit fuckface plagiarizing cockbite named Kevin Leam.

Our hero, Mr. Kelly, recaps the events in detail here.

In the most basic of terms, Kevin Leam is a heaping pile of dog shit. He has his own blog on MySpace. Of course, to call it "his" would be a stretch because a majority - if not all - of its content is stolen from either Michael Kelly or other people who actually possess talent. Long story short, here's what kind of sort of went down once our dear Mr. Kelly became aware of Leam's treachery...

1. Michael Kelly posts this on his website.
2. He threatens legal action against Leam.
3. He opts against it and hopes Leam will find the grace to apologize and remove the clearly stolen material.
4. Leam sends a complaint to webserver that hosts Mr. Kelly's site. Note: There is no way to prove it was Leam who sent said complaint, but he did. Because he's a devious cunt.
5. Blah blah blah, the cunts at Orange-Freeserve pull Mr. Kelly's site, siding with a known plagiarist. Real classy, fellas.
6. Michael Kelly has moved his site here and will hopefully be reposting all of his original material.
7. Kevin Leam remains unpunished. And incredibly ugly. Note: It's only defamation if it's not true. Dude is a goblin.

Only in a world this shitty can a brilliant scribe such as Michael Kelly get totally fucked by this deceitful sun-dried tomato dick-cheese. Sadly, there is little we can do to remedy this situation. I won't advocate violence against Leam because... well, he lives in England and that's just too long of a flight to put the business end of a claw-hammer into some dipshit's eye socket.

My only suggestion would be to support Michael Kelly by visiting his website and purchasing some of the books he has recently published...

My Godawful Life: Abandoned. Betrayed. Stuck To The Window.

Ulrich Haarburste's Novel of Roy Orbison in Clingfilm

I promise you won't regret purchasing either one. Mainly because all of the content, ideas, and words are not fucking plagiarized by some vegertarian scrotum-stretcher.

Links On The Left, Part 1

This is a brief segment I've been wanting to do regarding the links I've posted - holy shit - on the left. I figure it might be nice to give you a brief summation of what each is about, lest you think I'm navigating you straight into Brazilian fart porn (yes, it really exists).

We'll start from the top...

Michael Kelly's Page of Misery

A British writer, Michael Kelly hasn't experienced much overall success other than the traffic to his website and a couple of books those assholes in the publishing industry finally recognized as gold. I've read almost everything he's written and he's a big reason I continue writing to this day, much to the chagrin of whoever reads Kellie Pickler's fan mail. His prose, topics, and self-deprecating style are good at make me laugh much. Do you see how reading improves one's own writing?

Selections I recommend:
A Bad Kid
Dear Clarissa
How To Be Calm
Test Your Lateral Thinking
Journal of Distration

It took a lot of self-control to not name more than that. Oh yeah, there will probably be some British slang you won't recognize here and there, but you'll get used to it. If not, watch a Guy Ritchie movie or something. Jesus, I can't do everything for you.

So fuck off and read his shit already...